HERMIONE GINGOLD (1897-1987)

Writing in THE GREAT STAGE STARS (Facts on File 1986), Sheridan Morley said, "The awesome eccentricity of Hermione Gingold has been captured for future generations in the film GIGI, but it is on stage that she gives full expression to that peculiar and hilarious strangeness that is pure Gingold."  Of her appearance as a Theatre Gossip in a revue, T.C. Wolsey wrote:  "To watch Miss Gingold's tongue roll around a familiar name and then quietly drop it off with the mud sticking on is to watch art raising a foible to the stature of a Humor."  Of her appearance in SLINGS AND ARROWS, Harold Hobson noted:  "Miss Gingold blossoms into gargoyles as if she were Notre Dame itself."  Of her appearance in FIRST IMPRESSIONS, Kenneth Tynan in his book CURTAINS (Atheneum 1961) called her a "burbling dragoness fully capable of withering her husband with a single fire-darting glare.  Needless to say, much of what Miss Gingold does is strangely hilarious.  No actress commands a more purposeful leer; and in nobody's mouth do vowels more acidly curdle".

The biographical and career information about Hermione on this webpage is partly based on Dan O'Leary's liner notes from the JOHN MURRAY ANDERSON'S ALMANAC CD, Hermione's autobiography, HOW TO GROW OLD DISGRACEFULLY (1988), my own research in various books mainly about revues (which is how I got interested in Hermione in the first place), and copies of revue programmes kindly provided by Ray Stanley of Australia and Richard Mangan, Administrator of the Raymond Mander and Joe Mitchenson Theatre Collection.  This webpage is mainly about the revues in which Hermione appeared, rather than her personal life, film career or even her other theatrical roles, which are just mentioned in passing.

The bull-throated, barb-hurling British actress charmed an international audience with her talent, wit and offbeat brand of humor for over seventy years.  Her trademark husky voice was the result of nodules on her vocal chords.  In a 1979 BBC radio show entitled THE LIFE AND TIMES OF HERMIONE GINGOLD, she told interviewer Alan Haydock that she originally had a coloratura soprano voice, but that it gradually got lower and lower because of the nodules, which her mother forbade her to have removed.

Whether it was film, television, stage or the extremely rare recording, Hermione never disappointed.  Hermione Ferdinanda Gingold was born in London on December 9, 1897.  Her mother, Kate Francis, was English and her father, Jack Gingold, was a well to do Austrian, who later became a British citizen and a member of the London stock exchange.  Hermione and her sister were educated at home by an army of private tutors and nannies.   She also studied for the stage under Rosina Filippi.   On December 8, 1908, she made her London stage debut as the Herald in PINKIE AND THE FAIRIES by W. Graham Robertson (with an elderly Ellen Terry, Mrs. Patrick Campbell, Frederick Volpe, Marie Lohr and Viola Tree) at His Majesty's Theatre.  Her London stage career included:

• 1909 THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR - Opened June 21, 1909 at His Majesty's Theatre; Hermione played the Page.
• 1911 WHERE THE RAINBOW ENDS - A patriotic play about St. George and the dragon directed by Sir Charles Hawtrey.  Hermione understudied the lead but never went on.  A youthful Noel Coward was also in the cast.
• 1912 IN THE NAME OF THE CZAR - Hermione played the Child.
• 1913 THE MARRIAGE MARKET - Opened May 17, 1913 at Daly's Theatre.
• 1914 THE MERCHANT OF VENICE - Opened April, 1914 at the Old Vic; Hermione played Jessica.
• 1918 TROILUS AND CRESSIDA - Her Stratford-upon-Avon debut as Cassandra.
• 1921 IF - Opened May 30, 1921 at the Ambassadors Theatre; Hermione played Liza.
• 1922 THE DIPPERS - Opened August 22, 1992 at the Criterion Theatre; a farcical comedy by Ben Travers; Hermione played the Old Woman.
• 1931 LITTLE LORD FAUNTLEROY - Opened January 7, 1931 at the Gate Theatre; Hermione played the Second Daughter.  In the 1930s Hermione was part of a repertory company at the Gate whose members included James Mason, Michael Wilding, Vivien Leigh, Vincent Price, Googie Withers and Robert Helpmann.
• 1932 FROM MORN TO MIDNIGHT - Opened May 3, 1932 at the Gate Theatre; Hermione played The Second Daughter.
• 1932 ONE MORE RIVER - at the Gate Theatre; Hermione played Lavinia.
• 1932 HOTEL UNIVERSE - at the Gate Theatre; Hermione played Lily Malone.
• 1933 I HATE MEN - at the Gate Theatre; Hermione played Vidette.
• 1933 ON WITH THE SHOW, at the Princes Theatre, a revue by Lawrence Wright.  Also in the cast were Jimmy Campbell and his Band, Betty Frankiss, Patrick Waddington and Trevor Watkins.
• 1934 MONTEBANKS - Opened November, 1934; Hermione played Camille.
• 1935 THIS WORLD OF OURS - Opened December, 1935 at the Gate.
• 1935 ON WITH THE SHOW - Opened December 20, 1935 at the Gate Theatre, this revue was written and composed by Ronald Hill, Diana Morgan, Robert MacDermot and Geoffrey Wright.  The cast included Hedley Briggs, Googie Withers, Michael Anthony, Bettine Tomlin, Tony Forward, Peter Borrett and as compere, Charlotte Leigh.
• 1935 MAYA - at the Gate Theatre.
• 1936 SPREAD IT ABROAD - Opened April 1, 1936 at the Saville Theatre and ran for 209 performances.  According to Ray Stanley, this Herbert Farjeon production was Hermione's first revue.  It starred Dorothy Dickson, Ivy St. Helier, Nelson Keys and Walter Crisham .
• 1936 LAURA GARRETT - Opened September, 1936 at the Arts Theatre; Hermione played May.
• 1937 IN THEATER STREET - Opened April, 1937 at the Mercury Theatre; Hermione played The Leading Lady.
• 1938 THE GATE REVUE - Opened December 19, 1938 at the Gate Theatre and featured Hermione as a leading comedienne.  The revue was so well received that it moved to the more prestigious Ambassadors' Theatre in March 9, 1939.  See:  http://guidetomusicaltheatre.com/shows_g/gaterevue.htm
• 1940 SWINGING THE GATE - Opened May 22, 1940 at the Ambassadors Theatre, a follow-up revue.
• 1941 RISE ABOVE IT - Opened June 5, 1941 at the Comedy Theatre, another revue.  This went to a second edition in December, 1941.
• 1942 SKY HIGH - Opened June 4, 1942 at the Phoenix Theatre; another revue.
• 1943 SWEET AND LOW - Opened June 10, 1943 at the Ambassadors.  Hermione took the West End by storm in this sharp witted revue of the war years .  It included two of her own sketches.
• 1944 SWEETER AND LOWER - Opened February 17, 1944, this successor played to packed houses for two years and earned Hermione the titles "The Duchess" and "The Queen of Comedy".
• 1946 SWEETEST AND LOWEST - Opened May 9, 1946 at the Ambassadors Theatre; book and lyrics by Alan Melville; music by Charles Zwar.  Conclusion of the three "Sweet" revues.
• 1948 SLINGS AND ARROWS - Opened November 17, 1948 at the Comedy theatre; Hermione was co-author of this revue.
• 1949 FUMED OAK - Opened November 29, 1949 at the Ambassadors Theatre; Hermione played Mrs. Rocket, a wrangling old mother-in-law, painstakingly executing her needlework in grey woolen mittens.  This was a Noel Coward double bill with the following:
• 1949 FALLEN ANGELS - Opened November 29, 1949 at the Ambassadors Theatre; Hermione played Jane Banbury, costarring with Hermione Baddeley and Maurice Denham in this Noel Coward comedy.  Ray Stanley informs me the two Hermiones upstaged each other mercilessly, introducing all sorts of business, some of it almost obscene, which held up the action, making Coward furious.  As neither would take second billing, programmes were printed with the photos of one Hermione right side up and the other upside down.  A contemporary review in THEATRE WORLD mentioned the drunken dinner scene in which Hermione used "a plate as a vanity mirror" and beckoned "her dropped serviette to come to her, when she dare not rake the risk of stooping down to pick it up."
• 1949 HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL - Opened at the Cambridge Theatre where Hermione played Agnes Derringdo, a retired Mata Hari called back to service.

Because she had entertained all through the war, Hermione was granted permission from Parliament, as was the process in those days, to go to the United States.  Her first American acting engagement was with the enterprising Brattle Theatre Group in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  The revue IT'S ABOUT TIME (1951) incorporated some of her material from London.  John Murray Anderson saw her in that show and offered her a role in his forthcoming Broadway venture.

After ALMANAC (1953), Hermione continued to offer unforgettable performances on the stage in OH DAD, POOR DAD, MAMMA'S HUNG YOU IN THE CLOSET AND I'M FEELIN' SO SAD (Phoenix Theatre February 26, 1962) and FIRST IMPRESSIONS (Alvin Theatre, March 19, 1959) , a musical version of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE with book and direction by Abe Burrows, in which she played Mrs. Bennett.  Farley Granger, Polly Bergen and Donald Madden were in the cast.  She performed six numbers, three of them solos, on the original cast album (Columbia OL 5400).  

She also appeared in A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC and SIDE BY SIDE BY SONDHEIM.  The BBC did a radio series about her entitled THE LIFE AND TIMES OF HERMIONE GINGOLD in which she talked in a frank and amusing way about her life and career.  She had completed the final draft of her autobiography HOW TO GROW OLD DISGRACEFULLY when she died on May 24, 1987; it was published posthumously in 1988.

Some London revues in which Hermione Gingold appeared (details courtesy of her autobiography and individual programmes I have tracked down from the sources cited below) include:

SPREAD IT ABROAD (1936) Opened April 1, 1936 at the Saville Theatre and ran for 209 performances; book and lyrics by Herbert Farjeon; music by William Walker.  Cast included Walter Crisham, Michael Wilding, Ivy St. Helier, Dorothy Dickson and Hermione.  I am indebted to Richard Mangan, Administrator of the Raymond Mander and Joe Mitchenson Theatre Collection, who kindly Xeroxed a copy of this programme for me.  Hermione appeared in the following items:

• WE'VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR THIS, as part of the 3rd Couple with Lyle Evans
• CHARGE OF THE LATE BRIGADE as Attendant with Ivy St. Helier and Nelson Keys
• FOLLOW THE DAUGHTER with Dorothy Dickson and Ivy St. Helier
• NEWS REEL by John Paddy Carstairs; dialogue in collaboration with John Paddy Carstairs, Holt Marvell (Eric Maschwitz ) and Hermione Gingold; also in this skit were Nelson Keys, Ivy St. Helier, Lyle Evans and Michael Anthony.  This contained the "Cycling Sketch" written by Hermione.  In her autobiography, Hermione says this was about a cycling enthusiast who instructs the audience how to make their own bicycles.  
• THE FOYER, as the Programme Girl
• THE GIRLS
• RE-UNION IN COVENT GARDEN, as the Dresser of Ivy St. Helier
• Hermione also appeared in the first act finale, SPREAD IT ABROAD and the second act finale, WORLD GOES ROUND.  The show also contained a performance of THESE FOOLISH THINGS, music by Jack Strachey, lyric by Holt Marvell (Eric Maschwitz) sung by Dorothy Dickson and Walter Crisham.  

THE GATE REVUE (1938)  Opened December 19, 1938 at the Gate Theatre; written by Diana Morgan, Robert MacDermot, Gerrard Bryant, Ronnie Hill and Arthur Marshall with music by Geoffrey Wright.  It transferred to the Ambassadors Theatre March 9, 1939 and ran for 449 performances, after some cuts imposed by the Lord Chamberlain, who at that time censored all West End shows. This is the first of the revues Hermione did with Walter Crisham.  This contained a sketch called HAIRDRESSERS CONFESSIONS which was about women who confide their inmost secrets to their hairdressers, who assume a priestlike role.  Hermione sang a song called BEAUTY BEAUTY, a send-up of women's fitness campaigns.  She writes that SPIN is from this revue as well, and the programme confirms this, although the ALMANAC CD credits it as originating in STICKS AND STONES.  Hermione co-wrote it with Nicholas Phipps although the ALMANAC CD attributes it to Phillips-Wright (and the liner notes of the LA GINGOLD LP credit it to Nicholas Phipps and Geoffrey Wright).  Writing in REVUE (1962), Robert Baral recalls a skit about "a peddler of dirty postcards who starves because the magazines now flooding the newsstands are sexier than his outmoded wares."

I am indebted to Richard Mangan, Administrator of the Raymond Mander and Joe Mitchenson Theatre Collection, who kindly Xeroxed a copy of the programme for the first edition for me.  The lyrics/skits were written by Diana Morgan, Robert MacDermot, Nicholas Phipps, Gerard Bryant, Arthur Marshall, Reginald Beckwith, Peter Dion Titheradge, David Yates Mason and Hermione.  Music by Geoffrey Wright with additional numbers by Ronnie Hill.

I am indebted to Richard Mangan, Administrator of the Raymond Mander and Joe Mitchenson Theatre Collection, who kindly Xeroxed a copy of the programme for the second edition (1939) as well.  The lyrics/skits were written by Diana Morgan, Robert MacDermot, Nicholas Phipps, Gerard Bryant, , Reginald Beckwith, John Adrian Ross, David Yates Mason and Hermione.  Music by Geoffrey Wright with additional numbers by Charles Zwar and Ronnie Hill.  Two of the writers joined the cast:  Reginald Beckwith and Nicholas Phipps, who was cousin to Joyce Grenfell.   The second half opened with TATLER TIME as the cast sat on stools reading from current periodicals.  TRANSATLANTIC LULLABY was a showstopping hit.

I am indebted to Ray Stanley for the lyrics to MEDIUM, MEDIUM cowritten by Hermione and her then husband Eric Maschwitz (Ray tells me Hanan Swaffer was a much feared newspaper writer who dabbled in spiritualism).:

I was sitting at the window of my house - in Leinster Gardens I was feeling just as lonely as a cloud; When a knock came at the door Like I'd never heard before, So mysterious, I really felt quite cowed. "Who is that?", I loudly cried. Came reply: "Your spirit guide." "But how nice of you to call Hang your aura in the hall." 'Twas a lonely Indian brave Who'd come hot foot from the grave Come to cure my lonely ev'ning. Come to cure my lonely spirits, Cheer me with his kindly laughter Tell me of the world hereafter. And his cousin Hiawatha Spirit guide to Hanan Swaffer. Though I'm only a medium medium, My goodness, the men that I've known. What with giving seances And falling in trances I don't spend a night on my own. I'm only a medium medium For the famous I'm always in touch I make certain rules, For though ghouls will be ghouls-- I won't have them behaving as such,

I shall always remember the day I went down to the country to spend. It was on the East Coast And my host was a ghost Who was haunting the place for a friend. I'm only a medium medium, But his memory lives with me yet. He remarked with a glance, "Shall we sit out this trance?" Then proceeded to pinch my planchette. I'm only a medium medium (But my fees are remarkably small) Though my husband, deceased, Left me nothing, the beast -- But his ouija and one crystal ball. At times I'm quite the comedian The life and the soul of our group. I produced Louis III From a hot cup of tea -- And Dracula out of thick soup. And there's Frankenstein too, (Such a nice spoken spook) But I dread it each time he appears. . . I don't like to object But my carpet gets wrecked For he will bring his monster, my dears. I'm only a medium medium I give myself plenty of scope What with Byron to go for And gay Casanova While there's h'ectoplasm, there's hope.

SWINGING THE GATE (1940) was the followup revue at the Ambassadors Theatre which opened on May 22, 1940 and ran 449 performances, forced to close early because of German bombing raids that disrupted traffic in London.  It starred Madge Elliott, Hermione and Peter Ustinov.  Hermione says in her autobiography it was for this revue that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Eric Maschwitz and Jack Strachey wrote QUEEN OF SONG for her.  Oh the ALMANAC CD itself, Hermione mentions this song is her favorite on the recording, but in her autobiography, she confesses her favorite was I SPY which she cowrote with Jack Strachey about the headmistress of a school for spies.  Ustinov wrote and performed a monologue called CONSTERNATION PIECE, and another called PROFESSOR HYPOKRITOFF.

RISE ABOVE IT (1941) followed at the Q Theatre with music and lyrics by Leslie Julian Jones.  When it opened Hermione was not in the cast, which included Henry Kendall, Hermione Baddeley, Joan Greenwood, Wilfred Hyde-White and Frith Banbury.  It moved to the Comedy Theatre on June 5, 1941 when Hermione joined the cast which then included Walter Crisham, Henry Kendall, Prudence Hyman, Hermione Baddeley and Wilfred Hyde-White.  It ran for 236 performances.  A second edition opened in December 1941 with almost the same cast and ran for a further 144 performances.  This is the second revue Hermione did with Walter Crisham.  I am indebted to Ray Stanley of Australia for all these details.  Hermione's favorite sketch in this was UNDER THEIR HATS written by Denis Waldock.  In it, Hermione G and Hermione B played two self-centered old dowagers trying on a variety of hideous hats in a millinery shop as they kept up a banter of silly gossip about themselves and the war.  In addition, Hermione performed a monologue she wrote called  MUSIC TALK about an actual piece of music called GRASSHOPPER DANCE.  This was a pompous pseudointellectual "talk on mewsick" (music).  I've acquired the March, 1942 issue of THEATRE WORLD and learned of other items in the second edition:

• BIRD THOU NEVER WERT.  Hermione played a Barmaid Evacuee Ghost who relates her distressing experiences at the hands of the uppish De Vere ghosts in the moated grange to which she was evacuated when bombed out of the Strand tavern she haunted.
• PLEASE LET ME GIVE YOU MY AUTOGRAPH.  Hermione as a chorus girl who longs for, but has never achieved, recognition, stands at the stage door watching the Star (Georgina Cookson) and her escort (Guy Verney) surrounded by 'fans'.
• THE QUEERies.  This looks to be a spoof of ENSA performers who entertained troops during the War.  Wilfred Hyde-White was compere of the show, a Sargeant who introduced the Queeries Concert Party, which he described as "one of the horrors of modern warfare".  Hermione sang ON MONDAY I WALK OUT WITH A SOLDIER.
• RAGE OF CHELSEA.  In his autobiography, I REMEMBER ROMANO'S, Henry Kendall writes:  "I played a Chelsea artist and she was the model.  [The sketch] was timed to run six minutes, but by the end if the first week the laughs and Totie's (Hermione B) improvisations had extended it to sixteen!  She is a genius with props.  In this same sketch, she performed a dreadful strip-tease, unrolling herself out of a revolting black velvet gown to reveal an equally horrible Edwardian-type corset and a pair of grey flannel drawers.  All the time she kept up a running commentary about her various lovers.  "But he's a mere boy", I had to say to her at one point.  Back came her reply, spoken with an awful leer, "There's nothing mere about a boy!"  Ray Stanley remembers seeing this sketch and reveals the denouement was that Kendall had not come to paint Hermione B but the bathroom.
• Cut from the show by the Lord Chamberlain was a song Kendall sang in drag entitled IT'S LOVELY ANYWHERE:
  It's lovely in the morning, just as soon as you awake,
  And round about eleven o'clock, it makes a pleasant break;
  They say too much is bad for you, but that is a mistake,
  It's lovely anywhere.
           (The punchline is that he was singing about a cup of tea!)

SKY HIGH (1942)  This opened June 4, 1942 at the Phoenix Theatre and ran for 149 performances.  It starred Hermione Baddeley, Hermione Gingold, Water Crisham, Naunton Wayne and Elisabeth Welch.   This is the third revue Hermione did with Walter Crisham.  In her autobiography, Hermione says she wrote BICYCLING for THE GATE REVUE but it first appears in SPREAD IT ABROAD (1936) and was about a cycling enthusiast who instructs the audience how to make their own bicycles.  The song WHICH WITCH? on the ALMANAC CD came from this revue.  I am indebted to Ray Stanley of Australia for lending me the programme:

I am grateful to Kenneth H. Holmes who Xeroxed pages from the August 1942 THEATRE WORLD for me.  MEET A BODY involved the two Hermiones, Walter Crisham, Naunton Wayne, Elizabeth Welch and Zoe Gail being questioned by a policeman (George Gower) about a corpse which is none other than that of the Opening Chorus.

PARK MEETING involved the two Hermiones seen as two women who meet casually on a park bench and unfold with infinite pathos the story of their lives.  Hermione Gingold would resurrect this sketch in America to good reviews.

MERMAIDS saw the two Hermiones as a couple of bizarre mermaids on the look-out for naval prey "in a sketch that is a riot from beginning to end".

THE NORWOOD NIGHTINGALE saw Walter Crisham as a choirboy, somewhat peeved because his voice has just broken.

There followed the "Sweet" revues, in three versions, that ran through the end of World War II.  The second and particularly the third were substantially written by Alan Melville and all three were directed by Charles Hickman.

SWEET AND LOW (1943) opened at the Ambassadors Theatre on June 10, 1943 and ran for 264 performances.  It contained THE BORGIA ORGY (which Hermione maintains was written by John Jowett, although the ALMANAC CD credits it to "Lowitt".  Though the kindness of Glenn Atchison, who sent me the programme to SWEETER AND LOWER, I can confirm that John Jowett wrote the lyric to music by Robert Gordon). This is the fourth revue Hermione did with Walter Crisham.

In VALHALLA, Hermione was dressed like Brunhilde and sang "Ambassadors toasted my fatal allure; and Hindenburg chased me all over the Ruhr", concluding that "Valhalla is not the same."  In MISS GINGOLD'S FRIEND, Hermione sang about Hermione Baddeley:  "I do miss Hermione badly, The show isn't really the same:  I sit in my room just before we begin; and imagine her back again, swiping my gin."  In MISS GINGOLD'S OTHER FRIEND, Hermione sang to her faithful hot water bottle, "Let Me Run to You".  In HELL'S A-PUMPIN (a takeoff on the revue Hellzapoppin) Hermione, dressed as an A.R.P-minded Carmen Miranda, sang:  "Is your stirrup pump still working, Colonel Hop-hop-hop-hop-Hopkins?   It's a long, long, long time since we had a blitz."   My friend John Groushko informs me that A.R.P. stands for Air Raid Precautions and officials called ARP Wardens used to patrol during WWII and ensure that the blackout was enforced so that no lights would be visible from the air at night.

The revue included a "swing" version of OTHELLO with the lyric:  "Now they're as happy as a trio can be And they're booked up till the Spring:  And they're pulling down the houses Doing the Moorish Swing."  The ARSENIC AND OLD SHOWS sketch, which Hermione wrote, was a takeoff on ARSENIC AND OLD LACE currently playing in London.

POISON IVY was meant to take place at the famous Ivy restaurant where Henry Kendall and Hermione made brilliantly bitchy remarks about all the West End stars who used to frequent the place.

Numbers which appeared in more than one of the SWEET revues include BORGIA ORGY, IVAN IVANOVITCH, POISON IVY and CLIPPIE.  CLIPPIE was about a London war-time bus conductress; Brenda Bruce sang:  "So I'm quite glad that I'm a Clippie, Though my feet aren't, I'll admit, Though you do feel you're a part Of . . . well . . . London's heart And there's ever such a lot of it."  I am indebted to Ray Stanley of Australia for lending me the programme:  

SWEETER AND LOWER (1944) opened at the Ambassadors Theatre on February 17, 1944 and ran for 870 performances.  I am indebted to Glenn Atchison of Etobicoke, Ontario for sending me a copy of the SWEETER AND LOWER programme.   It is fascinating as a historical document of the World War II years.  Instead of being the size of a regular British theatrical programme, it is only 5 inches by 3 3/4 inches, no doubt reflecting the paper shortages of that time of austerity.  A notice in the back of the program says If an Air Raid Warning is received during the performance the audience will be informed from the Stage.  Those desiring to leave the Theatre may do so, but the performance will continue.  The nearest Shelter will be given by the Attendants.   Details of the show emerged from a May, 1944 THEATRE WORLD:

• MISS GINGOLD'S ADVICE TO THE PLAYERS - Hermione sends up Robert Helpmann's Hamlet
• 'CELLO SOLO -  In her autobiography Hermione recalled THE CELLIST by Leslie Julian Jones which was written for a man, but Hermione performed it, playing a bowlegged bluestocking lady cellist.  It is called THE CONCERT STAGE in JOHN MURRAY ANDERSON'S ALMANAC.  Among other bits of physical business, she contrived to lose her bow under her dress.
• SERVICES RENDERED - Hermione played Charmaine Vavasour in this backstage skit, with Gretchen Franklin as her dresser and Henry Kendall as a Major of the Guards who visits her dressing room.   About this sketch, Kenneth Tynan wrote:  "Hearing her Pongo's knock at the door, she throws herself with disgusting abandon across a divan, seizes her river of beads and sucks them, eyeing him rapaciously the while.  'Charmaine', he explodes impetuously, 'Never change, Charmaine.'  'That, chants Miss Gingold, 'would be a leetle unsanitaree', singing the last word as she prances gracelessly away."
• LOW DOWN ON WHITTINGTON - Henry Kendall in drag as a Duchess who takes a U.S. soldier (Bonar Colleano) to his first pantomime.
• VIENNA LINGERS ON - Hermione played Fritzi, the toast of Vienna, with Bonar Colleano and Richard Curnock as her admirers and Olive Wright as the maid, in a parody of a famous Ivor Novello musical.
• MABEL - a period piece set in New York's Central Park, 1900:

SWEETER AND LOWER consisted of 27 items:

A March 25, 1944 review of SWEETER AND LOWER in the Christian Science Monitor says:  "Miss Gingold has a magnificent evening, a night out, a field day.  Nothing is safe from her satire:  Home Guards, Mr. Robert Helpmann--the ballet dancer who is now playing Hamlet at the New Theatre--elderly lady lecturers, Mr. Ivor Novello's romantic Viennese operettas, even those other experts in venom the Borgias, come within the orbit of her lively and corroding flame.  She has never been seen in more lashing form, or more dashing temper.  The best item in the show is still that eminent conversation-piece, POISON IVY, in which Miss Gingold and Mr. Henry Kendall sit at a table in London's most talked of theatrical restaurant and discuss the other diners.  Their tongues are sharper than a serpent's tooth or a child's ingratitude.  "Look", exclaims Mr. Kendall, "there's Florence Desmond doing her imitation of John Gielgud."  Then he looks again and adds in surprised tones, "No, it is John Gielgud."

SWEETEST AND LOWEST (1946) was the third and final edition.  It opened at the Ambassadors Theatre May 9, 1946 and ran for 791 performances.  Hermione in her autobiography claimed it played to 800,000 people over 1,676 performances, but she must be aggregating the three SWEET revues, which actually total 1,925 performances.  According to the 1971 book REVUE by Raymond Mander and Joe Mitchenson, the SWEET revues ran from 1943 to 1947 and became an institution, making the names of Alan Melville and Charles Zwar.  For this third edition, Hermione wrote a monologue called MOTHER INDIA, a mock imperialistic talk delivered by herself in black velvet and pearls with all the authority of one who has spent two weeks in Delhi.  In her autobiography, Hermione recalls a skit called YOUNG WOODLEY'S SON written by Melville for a man but Hermione took it over, dressed as an evil little boy in an Eton suit. According to Ray Stanley, this is called HEREDITY in the programme.  Ray further informs me that YOUNG WOODLEY was a famous play of the '20s by John Van Druten about a schoolboy expelled for having an affair with the wife of one of the masters.   She also recalled a skit called PICASSO (listed in the programme below as SELF-PORTRAIT), an Alan Melville sendup of modern art in which Hermione played an unhappy multicolored female lumbered with two extra limbs and with an outsize fishbone impaled on her head.

SWEETEST AND LOWEST consisted of 28 items:

SWEETEST AND LOWEST Directed by Charles Hickman

	Title	Authors	Performers
1	Prologue	Alan Melville	Hermione Gingold
2	Fencing for an Opening	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold, Henry Kendall and Company
3	Swing Bridge	Melville and Zwar	Roma Milne, Gordon Humphris, Richard Curnock
4	Long Lie	Alan Melville	Henry Kendall, Olive Wright
5	Self-Portrait	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold
6	Bubbles	Melville and Zwar	Henry Kendall
7	Noel, Noel	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold, Christopher Hewett and Girls
8	Brown Studies	Music by Charles Zwar	Barbara Barrie, Gordon Humphris and the Girls
9	Film Foursome	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold, Olive Wright, Richard Curnock, Christopher Hewett
10	Days of Daly's	Melville and Zwar	Henry Kendall and Girls
11	Last To Get Out	Melville and Zwar	Gretchen Franklin
12	A Marriage Has Been Well Arranged	Melville and Zwar	Olive Wright, Barbara Barrie, Julie Stafford, Pam Travers and Monica Mallory
13	Mother India	Hermione Gingold	Hermione Gingold
14	Pantomime--Return Visit	Melville and Zwar	Henry Kendall, Gordon Humphris
15	It's that Finale Again	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold, Roma Milne, Gretchen Franklin, Olive Wright, Henry Kendall, Gordon Humphris, Richard Curnock, Christopher Hewett, John Denis and Girls
Part II
16	Fit for Eros	Melville and Zwar	Roma Milne, Gordon Humphris, Gretchen Franklin, Olive Wright, Julie Stafford, Richard Curnock, Christopher Hewett, Pam Travers, Monica Mallory
17	Absolute Hell	Alan Melville	Hermione Gingold, Henry Kendall
18	"1851"	Lyrics by Herbert Farjeon, Music by Charles Zwar	Roma Milne, Gretchen Franklin, Doreen Farmer
19	Heredity	Alan Melville	Hermione Gingold
20	Dance Arrangement	Music by Charles Zwar	Gordon Humphris
21	Sea Shanty	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold, Julie Stafford, Pam Travers, Monica Mallory
22	Etchings	Melville and Zwar	Olive Wright
23	Services Rendered Anew	Alan Melville	Hermione Gingold, Henry Kendall, Gretchen Franklin
24	Appeal	Alan Melville and Clary Ashton	Richard Curnock
25	Amo, Amas	Melville and Zwar	Roma Milne, Gordon Humphris, Gretchen Franklin, Olive Wright, Richard Curnock and Girls
26	Initiative	Alan Melville	Henry Kendall, Gretchen Franklin
27	Sheet Music	Melville and Zwar	Hermione Gingold
28	What Next?	Melville and Zwar	The Company

In his autobiography, Henry Kendall wrote about the closing performance where the audience "knew every number and every gag by heart, and almost played the revue for us.  On that last night, we introduced all sorts of little bits of business which the Lord Chamberlain certainly would never have permitted.  For instance, in my UP IN THE MORNING EARLY bedroom sketch, Ilena Sylva, who played my wife, was discovered lying in bed in a flimsy nightdress and a pair of Wellington boots, and as the Duchess in the box at the pantomime, I produced a bottle of gin, a hot water bottle, and a toilet article not often seen in public.  People popped on and off in sketches they had never previously appeared in, and in the finale of the first part, Wally Crisham suddenly appeared as one of the French girls and danced a can-can.  In this scene I was a majestic Britannia on a throne supported by the Allies, and it culminated in a concerted rush by the entire company which took me at my word when I sang 'Cling around my breasts, my Empire wide', and toppled me off my throne upside down, exposing two hairy masculine legs!"

In his autobiography, Melville wrote:  The greatest lyric-writers of the past half-century are Coward and [Herbert] Farjeon.  In his revue SIGH NO MORE, Coward wrote a brilliant lyric called 'Nina'; it was about a lady from Argentina who was mad about dancing the samba and fell in love with a sailor with a wooden leg.  As well as being very funny, it was filled to capacity with double and triple rhymes; it had such a verbal rhythm to it that it hardly needed music; I envied it.  (This number was sung in SIGH NO MORE by Cyril Ritchard.)  We were just about to do the third of the Ambassadors revues; there had been a great deal of chat about the Master's wartime activities; he was alleged, while touring all over the place for E.N.S.A.  (Entertainments National Service Association which was set up to provide drama, cinema and musical entertainment to the troops at home and abroad during WWII.), to be doing highly important work for the Government, or just plain, common-or-garden spying; the subject seemed yelling out to be dealt with in lyric form and I was determined to attempt the same sort of rhyming and rhythm that Noel had done in his own revue. The number was written for Henry Kendall; in the end, I need hardly say, it was performed-brilliantly, again, I have to admit, by Hermione Gingold. It was called simply ...

NOEL NOEL (by Alan Melville)

NINA (by Noel Coward)

When Europe was attacked and overpowered, Mr. Coward, Though ostensibly performing just for E.N.S.A. Was asked by Mr. Churchill to commence a Diplomatic tour to save the British Raj. Through his efforts, Fascist plots in West Australia Proved quite a failure And while entertaining troops in Kuala Lumpur He shoved several secret papers up his jumper And escaped to Indo-China on a barge. Humming tunes from Bitter Sweet, he Parachuted to Tahiti Where he ratified a treaty For manganese and chives; Then, disguised as Mr. Eden, He was smuggled into Sweden And adroitly played the lead in SABOTAGE and PRIVATE LIVES. After lecturing the natives of Uganda As propaganda He met-while having tea with Marshal Tito- A female spy who worked for Hirohito And in his role Of Britain's best ambassador He made a shocking pass at her, And Noel Succeeded even with de Gaulle. In a dressing-gown quite exquisitely flowered, Mr. Coward At the conferences which be daily sat on Advised both Eisenhower and Mountbatten On the private habits of the lower decks. After turning up at G.H.Q. in Kandy Disguised as Ghandi, And retrieving missing papers from a taxi Where they'd stupidly been left by Halifax, he Gave a lecture to the R.A.F. on sex. He escaped from Casablanca On a rather sordid tanker Which eventually dropped anchor In the Duodecanese; He created quite a flutter By his comments on Calcutta, Where he found the boredom utter And had prickly heat and fleas. He recovered stolen plans of Messrs. Vickers From someone's knickers; As an agent he was certainly no novice But he found that working for the Foreign Office Was quite a bore: With Eden, life was Heaven there; But on finding Ernest Bevin there He swore That he would spy no more.

Senorita Nina From Argentina Knew all the answers, Although her relatives and friends were perfect dancers She swore she'd never dance a step until she died. She said, 'I've seen too many movies And all they prove is Too idiotic, They all insist that South America's exotic Whereas it couldn't be more boring if it tried. She added firmly that she hated The sound of soft guitars beside a still lagoon, She also positively stated That she could not abide a Southern Moon, She said with most refreshing candour That she thought Carmen Miranda Was subversive propaganda And should rapidly be shot, She said she didn't care a jot If people quoted her or not! She refused to begin the Beguine When they requested it And she made an embarrassing scene If anyone suggested it For she detested it. Though no one ever could be keener Than little Nina On quite a number Of very eligible men who did the Rumba When they proposed to her she simply left them flat. She said that love should be impulsive But not convulsive And syncopation Has a discouraging effect on procreation And that she'd rather read a hook-and that was that! Senorita Nina From Argentina Despised the Tango And though she never was a girl to let a man go She wouldn't sacrifice her principles for sex. She looked with scorn on the gyrations Of her relations Who danced the Conga And swore that if she had to stand it any longer She'd lose all dignity and wring their silly necks! She said that frankly she was blinded To all their over-advertised romantic charms And then she got more bloody-minded And told them where to put their tropic palms. She said I hate to be pedantic But it drives me nearly frantic When I see that unromantic Sycophantic Lot of sluts For ever wriggling their guts, It drives me absolutely nuts! She declined to begin the Beguine Though they besought her to And in language profane and obscene She cursed the man who taught her to, She cursed Cole Porter too! From this it's fairly clear that Nina In her demeanour Was so offensive That when the hatred of her friends grew too intensive She thought she'd better beat it while she had the chance. After some trial and tribulation She reached the station And met a sailor Who had acquired a wooden leg in Venezuela And so she married him because he couldn’t dance! There surely never could have been a More irritating girl than Nina, They never speak in Argentina Of this degenerate bambina Who had the luck to find romance But resolutely wouldn't dance! She wouldn't dance! Hola!!

The finale from SWEETEST AND LOWEST written by Melville and sung by Hermione was:

What next?
How best to end the show?
What next?
Nobody seems to know.
Should we be rather glamorous or amorous or what?
Conclude the thing satirically or lyrically, or not?
What next?
Before the curtain falls--
What next?
Before those curtain calls--
In dealing with the future we're uncertain;
The only thing that's certain
Is the curtain.

In later years, Melville wrote about Hermione:  I speak in very real gratitude when I say that an author lucky enough to write for Hermione knows that however good a line he might give her, some unexpected bonus will be added to make it sound better . . . a leer, a mangling of pronunciation, a signalled implication of double-entendre.  She could, when occasion demanded it, persuade an audience that she was glamorous, even beautiful; and she had the true artist's gift after making a packed house weak with laughing, of being able to still it in seconds when a touch of pathos was called for.

SLINGS AND ARROWS (1948) This opened November 1948 at the Comedy Theatre.  It was devised by Charles Hickman and Hermione.  Some of items included:

• MASSEUSE which Peter Myers wrote for Hermione about an extremely ugly and disgruntled masseuse massaging Christopher Hewett as she sings:  "Just a masseuse, a masseuse, I've been pulling and pushing for years."  In her life, "nothing unprintable ever occurs!"
• SIT DOWN A MINUTE, MEDEA, written by Arthur Macrae.  Hermione characterized this as a "deep gloom" number.  "Let gloom descend, my heart with sorrow cracks:  This is a dreary play, I quite see why we don't pay Entertainment Tax!"
• BLANCHISSEUSE HEUREUSE (The Happy Laundress) by Arthur Macrae was Hermione's favorite sketch in the show; she played an exquisitely evening-gowned laundress living in the Savoy (or Ritz; both are credited in the January 1949 THEATRE WORLD), ironing shirts in a diamond tiara, moistening the linen with champagne and continually burning her customers' garments, making tiny holes in unfortunate places  in the garments belonging to those people who complain about her tariff.  "There's never a dull moment in the laundry, For if things get quiet I don't just sit and fret:  I crush pyjama buttons into fragments  With these rather dainty Cartier casse-noisettes!"
• TALK ON MUSIC written by Hermione was previously called MUSIC TALK in RISE ABOVE IT (1940) and used the actual number GRASSHOPPER DANCE about which Hermione lectured in a pseudointellectual manner.   About this sketch, Kenneth Tynan wrote:  "Her MUSIC TALK ... is full of carefully art-ic-u-la-ted in-acc-u-ra-cies. . .  She is wearing a shapeless sack of a tea-gown, a grey wig with a bun, and another string of beads, this time dangling to her thighs; her hands are clasped across the stomach, and she pushes out the words across her bust with all the flighty determination of the woman who, in a last desperate withdrawal, has retreated to the voice, manner and mind of the male.  The pianist plays an illustrative piece of Bucalosi.  'Ah!' she says, in a strained parody of eager ear-cocking, 'Ah!  Does not this remind us a teeny bit of Mozart?'  The voice has soared to an ecstatic shrillness.  Then a pause; and finally, 'No, it does not.'"
• The first act ended with an item called BLESS THE SHOW by Leslie Julian Jones, which was a burlesque on C.B. Cochran's BLESS THE BRIDE.
• WOLF CUBS was a parody based on the tune MR. GALLAGHER AND MR. SHEAN.
• THE GODS LOOK DOWN was a satire on gallery first-nighters.  Attendant:  "Now then, we don't want none of that booing in this theatre."  Gingold:  "Booing?  We're not booing.  We're saying 'Ullo to Evelyn Laye."  (This was a reference to Evelyn Laye's nickname of "Boo").  During this number, Hermione consumed a sandwich.

 I am indebted to Ray Stanley of Australia for lending me the programme from which the following list of sketches and songs was copied:

In fact, thanks to Ray Stanley, I have two versions of the SLINGS AND ARROWS programme, which give an interesting insight into how the running order of revues was fluid, in an effort to get the maximum effect to the overall show:

IT'S ABOUT TIME (1951) - This revue was Hermione's American debut.  It opened March, 1951 at the Brattle Theatre, in Cambridge, MA.  In addition to Hermione, the cast included Ronnie Graham, Don Liberto, Patricia Bybell, Kay Coulter, Marla Stevens, Peter Hamilton, Bill Shirley, Vera Lee, Lee Murray, Murray Matheson, Jennie Lou Law, Bob Gallagher and Patricia Jenning.  It was directed by Hermione's old revue co-star Walter Crisham.  The items included THE RAFT, MUSIC TALK (written by Hermione), TAPESTRY PIECE, BORGIA ORGY, SOUVENIRS, I AND THE KING (Music by Marie Gordon; lyrics by Hermione and David Rogers).

MUSIC TALK was written by Hermione for RISE ABOVE IT (1941) about a real piece of music called GRASSHOPPER DANCE; it was a pompous pseudointellectual "talk on mewsick".

TAPESTRY PIECE was written by Reginald Beckwith for RISE ABOVE IT (1941).  A contemporary reviewer wrote of her "mediaeval lady working into her tapestry 'all the news that's fit to weave', a play on the motto of the NEW YORK TIMES which is "all the news that's fit to print".

The BORGIA ORGY is from SWEET AND LOW (1943) and is available on the ALMANAC CD.

I AND THE KING was a parody of THE KING AND I, in which Hermione played Anna and Ronnie Graham played the King.

A contemporary review of this show reveals many additional items, singling out Hermione being hilarious as "the chatty old lady drinking port on the railroad train and the bored masseuse [and] the female but hardly feminine old salt".

The railroad train skit sounds like EUROPEAN EXPRESS, which is on the ALMANAC CD and was originally called ORIENT EXPRESS in the SWINGING THE GATE revue (1940).

The bored masseuse sketch is probably MASSEUSE written by Peter Myers for SLINGS AND ARROWS (1948).

CAFÉ DE PARIS (1953), a cabaret written by Clarry Ashton and Miles Rudge, opened June, 1953.

When Hermione came to America, she wanted to make her stage debut in a revue, but she had to audition for the Theatre Guild and her regular pianist, Clarry Ashton, was in London. Her boyfriend at the time, who was a classical musician, offered to accompany her, but he was not familiar with the material and the audition was a disaster. She claims it was for this reason she recorded the LP LA GINGOLD in 1955 (from which all the Hermione numbers on the ALMANAC CD originate), so that it would serve as her audition piece. In addition, while she was in London appearing at Café de Paris, she recorded a single with Gilbert Harding; on one side was IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO and on the flip side was a musical version of Little Red Riding Hood called OH, GRANDMA.

JOHN MURRAY ANDERSON'S ALMANAC (1953) For details, click here.  This was Hermione's Broadway debut at the Imperial Theatre, December 10, 1953. Some information from that webpage that pertains solely to Hermione follows:

Writing in AMERICAN MUSICAL REVUE (1985 Oxford University Press), Gerald Boardman notes Hermione Gingold's "superlative material for her American debut" and that she "capitalized on every bit of it, abetted handsomely by a fine American film comedian, Billy DeWolfe.  She won her audience the moment she came on, telling them how awed she was by New York harbor's fine statue of Judith Anderson.  Later she played a frustrated old cellist ('a twang here--a twang there'), grateful for any instrument between her legs."  She and DeWolfe "combined their gifts in a sketch that was immediately hailed as a classic.  'Dinner for One' found Miss Gingold as a ninety-year old grande dame seated at the end of a long, elegantly set dining table.  Her decrepit butler, played by DeWolfe, had set places for four of her long dead admirers.  He moved from chair to chair and in each stead proposed a toast to the lady, then cleared the dishes, reset the table, and started the toasts again.  By the third or fourth course, he was quite woozy and clattering the dishes.  At the end of the multicoursed dinner, he escorted his mistress to her room, though which one was less steady of foot was moot.  It may not sound like much, but it was unquestionably one of the most brilliantly performed bits in all of American revue."

ALMANAC ran for 229 performances, and Hermione received the Donaldson Award for the best musical comedy debut.

STICKS AND STONES (1956)  This opened at the John Drew Theatre in East Hampton, Long Island on June 30, 1956.  In addition to Hermione, the cast included Jack Fletcher, Charles Manna, Louise Hoff, Marti Stevens and Jim Hutchinson.   The VARIETY review, in addition, listed Keir Dullea, Marty Weixelbaum, Shirley Dulzill, Brad Rogers and Wayne Pascuzzi.

THE PEOPLE WERE NICE is available on the ALMANAC CD.

THE LAST RESORTS may be a retitling of WINTER IN TORQUAY, written by Herbert Farjeon for THE LITTLE REVUE (1939).  A contemporary review of STICKS AND STONES  in the NEW YORK POST mentions a skit in which Hermione plays "a dyspeptic dowager boasting of her operations".  This item is available on the ALMANAC CD as WINTER IN PALM SPRINGS.  VARIETY described this as Hermione "convulses with her gum-chomping description of countless hospitalizations and operations.  The artist is evident in this piece, for minus the comedy lines and blackout, the skit could almost stand as a serious character study."

Louise Kallen who wrote MY TRIP was the only female writer on YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS.  

MUSIC TALK was written by Hermione  for RISE ABOVE IT (1941) about an actual piece of music entitled GRASSHOPPER DANCE; it was a pompous pseudointellectual "talk on mewsick".  VARIETY called this "a self-written take-off of a gawky but enraptured concert hall lecture"

The BORGIA ORGY is from SWEET AND LOW (1943) and is available on the ALMANAC CD.

I believe the item entitled HATS - A SKETCH is from RISE ABOVE IT (1941) where it was called UNDER THEIR HATS.  This was Hermione's favorite sketch in RISE ABOVE IT.  She and Hermione Baddeley played two self-centered old dowagers trying on a variety of hideous hats in a millinery shop as they kept up a banter of silly gossip about themselves.  The NY POST review of STICKS AND STONES mentions a sketch about a woman who always buys a hat when depressed.

THE CELLO is from SWEETER AND LOWER (1944) where it was called THE CELLIST .  It had been written for a man, but Hermione performed it, playing a bowlegged bluestocking lady cellist.  It was called CELLO SOLO in SWEETER AND LOWER and THE CONCERT STAGE in JOHN MURRAY ANDERSON'S ALMANAC.

WHICH WITCH is also available on the ALMANAC CD.

The NY POST review of STICKS AND STONES mentions Hermione playing a prim governess revealing her lost romance to a call girl on a park bench, which must be the PARK MEETING sketch.   VARIETY describes this as "La Gingold plays the governess in this simple, almost underwritten, bit with amazing depth of understanding as she alters her original resentment of her benchmate under the realization there is a common bond between them."  

SIGN OF THE TIMES is, according to this POST review, a skit in a quiet mood--"one waiting for Louis, who is waiting for Godot, who is waiting for her".  VARIETY called this an offbeat number aimed at those with Broadway savvy.

VARIETY describes BHARAT-A-NATIUM as a church supper version of an East Indian dance which casts Manna as an embarrassed, sheetwrapped singer whose MOONLIGHT ON THE GANGES is accompanied by the Milan-Martin-Hutchison interpretation of a temple dance that owes much to the buck and wing.  VARIETY called this a cute idea and well done.

The POST review mentions Hermione's "final song with a hot water bag--a lapse of good taste even by so salty a comedienne" but I haven't been able to identify from this description which item this might be.  It sounds like MISS GINGOLD'S OTHER FRIEND from SWEET AND LOW (1943).

VARIETY mentions QUEEN OF SONG and NO ONE EVER ASKED ME, which do not appear on the program I was able to track down, but which are also available on the ALMANAC CD.

After this revue, Hermione went to Hollywood where she appeared in many films.  

FROM A TO Z (1960).  This American revue was known as THE TIME HAS COME prior to its opening at the Plymouth Theatre on April 20, 1960.  It closed May 7, 1960.  The cast included Elliott Reid, Louise Hoff, Kelly Brown, Stuart Damon, Isabelle Farrell, Michael Fesco, Virginia Vestoff, Alvin Epstein, Nora Kovach, Paula Stewart, Bob Dishy, Beryl Towbin, Larry Hovis and Doug Spingler.  In  the second act, Hermione recreated some of her most famous characters, including BOBO and QUEEN OF SONG.  

• PARK MEETING is from STICKS AND STONES (1956) and involves Hermione playing a prim governess revealing her lost romance to a call girl on a park bench.  
• WINTER IN PALM SPRINGS is available on the ALMANAC CD.  In it Hermione plays "a dyspeptic dowager boasting of her operations".  When it was performed in STICKS AND STONES (1956), VARIETY declared Hermione "convulses with her gum-chomping description of countless hospitalizations and operations.  The artist is evident in this piece, for minus the comedy lines and blackout, the skit could almost stand as a serious character study."
• THE SOUND OF SCHMALTZ - Writing in AMERICAN MUSICAL THEATRE (Oxford University Press 1992) Gerald Bordman described the "big first act finale as a travesty on THE SOUND OF MUSIC rechristened THE SOUND OF SCHMALTZ in which International Nannies, Ltd. sent Alice Cadwallader-Smith, a governess given to singing as she swings in a Central Park hammock, to assist in rearing the children of Baron von Klaptrap."  This was quite elaborate and consisted of 4 scenes.
• QUEEN OF SONG was written specially for Hermione by Eric Maschwitz, her then husband and is also available on the ALMANAC CD.
• WHAT NEXT was the Alan Melville-written finale to SWEETEST AND LOWEST (1946)

A footnote in SHY (THE ALARMINGLY OUTSPOKEN MEMOIRS OF MARY RODGERS) (Farrar, Straus and Giroux 2022), states  "The letters of the alphabet were matched with twenty-six sketches and songs by a ton of newcomers, including Woody Allen and Jerry Herman.  "Hire a Man, with a lyric satirizing big business ... was pretty good.  ,,,[T]he first act ended with a spoof called "The Sound of Schmaltz," in which Gingold played the nanny to the Klaptrap Family Singers."

The opening night review by Robert Coleman of the DAILY MIRROR cited Woody Allen's SURPRISE PARTY. "A couple of diversion seekers discover that the babes at the revel have all decided to make up like Groucho Marx. That is, all except the one who's a real blonde--Harpo."

The opening night review by Walter Kerr of the HERALD TRIBUNE opined: "Miss Gingold has come on in marceled white wigs, messy black wigs, and towering silver wigs studded with daisies. She has squinted at the audience with one sour eye, she has protruded her tongue far enough to get it caught between her teeth, she has leered like a bulldog and listed as though she were on shore leave. She has done everything she can to intimate comedy without actually being able to deliver it."

Writing in OPEN A NEW WINDOW (2001), Ethan Mordden  noted the show included "Alvin Epstein miming a man changing into a bathing suit on a beach under a raincoat, Elliott Reid spoofing television coverage of a political convention, Kelly Brown trying out another of those nostalgic soft-shoe numbers" but found the show basically old fashioned, a revue built around a headliner (Hermione) with indifferent material.  This was Hermione's last stage revue, as the revue form seemed to die out with the advent of TV which used up so much material.  In the 1960s she and Boris Karloff were interested in performing in a revue to be called THE THING AND I (A MONSTER REVUE), but it never got past the discussion stage.

Writing in EVERY WEEK, A BROADWAY REVUE (THE TAMIMENT PLAYHOUSE, 1921-1960), Martha Schmoyer LoMonaco talks about the Woody Allen sketch PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE which was performed four times in 1958 and revived twice in 1959 at Tamiment.  "The piece is set on a battleground; Allen's stage directions emphasize the importance of achieving 'the authenticity of real war.'  A group of men enter dressed exactly like American G.I.'s but without conventional weaponry.  The sergeant discusses their plan of attack:  'Hit them in the ego, hit them in the id, hit them in their inferiority complexes, and if that doesn't work, hit them below the belt and we'll go back to the old way!'  Shortly thereafter, the 'enemy' enters" and insults and putdowns are exchanged.  The Sergeant is wounded and "screams wildly for aid and two medics rush out from the wings with a stretcher.  He 'hops' onto it, immediately assumes the 'classic analysis position' and launches into his life story, ... followed by a fast blackout."

Some 30-second sound bites from FIRST IMPRESSIONS (Mar 19, 1959 - May 30, 1959):

• FIVE DAUGHTERS

• HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?

• AS LONG AS THERE'S A MOTHER

• WASN'T IT A SIMPLY LOVELY WEDDING?

• A HOUSE IN TOWN

• LET'S FETCH THE CARRIAGE

Some 30-second sound bites from the ALMANAC CD.  Click here for lyrics:

• INTRODUCTIONS (Charles Zwar-Myles Rudge-Clary Ashton)

• WHICH WITCH (Alan Melville-Charles Zwar)

• FLOWERS (David Baker-Sheldon Harnick)

• THE BORGIAS ARE HAVING AN ORGY (Robert Gordon-John Jowett)

• TIT FOR TAT (Neville Phillips-Robb Stewart)

• BUT THE PEOPLE WERE NICE (Mark Lawrence-Buster Davis)

• COCAINE (Neville Phillips-Robb Stewart)

• QUEEN OF SONG (Eric Maschwitz-Jack Strachey)

• NOBODY EVER ASKED ME (Buster Davis)

• ROBERT THE ROBOT (Myles Rudge-Charles Zwar)

• SPIN (Nicholas Phipps-Geoffrey Wright)

• THANKS YANKS (Geoffrey Wright/Alan Melville)

Research by Judy Harris

Return to the ALMANAC webpage at http://judyharris.net/almanac.htm

Or visit my homepage at http://judyharris.net/index.htm

Or e-mail me at foosie@bestweb.net